4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
