Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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