there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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