the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
