He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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