Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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