exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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