She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
