If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
