my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
try to milk me bitch
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