I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
