I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
