I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
