There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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