Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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