I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
