You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
