I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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