Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
