Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
