Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
