nut hugger
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
