Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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