Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
