3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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