I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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