Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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