he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
