he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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