After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
