She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
