she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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