It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
