She's JV to your varsity
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
