I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
