Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
