Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
