hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
