Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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