So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
