halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
