38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The air taste purple.
Randomize
