She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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