her vagine was all disorganized.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
