Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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