I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
