just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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