i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Randomize
