Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
