So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
