i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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