ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
