Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
